Fruit of the Spirit - Gentleness
Have you guys ever met anyone that you would consider strong but gentle? Many stories have been written, and movies have been made with characters like this. There is someone that fits this description that I have grown close to over the years, and I can remember back to the first time I ever met him. I had just started in Youth Ministry at my previous church, and I remember the keyboard that they used on Sunday mornings for worship was a monster. I would have to put it on my shoulder and lift it with both hands, and if I would have even considered going up stairs, I would have taken it step by step. I remember Jon grabbing the keyboard in its case like a briefcase, and carrying it up the stairs, and I remember thinking, man, that dude is a beast.
And then I had the privilege of serving with Jon in various ways with children. I went on a mission trip with Jon to Africa. We served children at a local apartment complex with different day camps and activities. And I remember observing Jon, this incredibly strong man, get down on the level of children and love them with this tender spirit.
Gentleness, this is our topic for this morning. Gentleness is a very difficult Greek word to define, because there isn’t a clear English word that fits the Greek word, “prautes” (prah-oo-tase). This word is also translated meekness in Scripture, which is helpful when trying to understand its meaning. However, meekness can often be thought of as a weakness for those who display it, almost a sense of cowardice. This isn’t the case, since most often in Scripture it is used to describe “gentleness of conduct on the part of the person who has it in their power to act otherwise.” There is a blending of strength that is withheld with a gentle response.
Aristotle shared his thoughts on the Greek word behind gentleness: "the ability to bear reproaches and slights with moderation, and not to embark on revenge quickly, and not to be easily provoked to anger, but to be free from bitterness and contentiousness, having tranquility and stability in the spirit."
One commentator said this about gentleness, “When the vice of anger is the spiritual diagnosis, Holy Scripture prescribes the virtue of gentleness or meekness as the spiritual medicine. Gentleness is the spiritual virtue that tempers or moderates the desire for vengeance we experience when we suffer or witness injustice.”
Gentleness in the Nature of God
Read Isaiah 40:9-10
The Lord God comes with might, with strength. Strength in His arm to rule the Earth. Almighty, All-Powerful, Creator God.
Read Isaiah 40:11
This verse paints a very different picture than the previous 2. He will tend like a shepherd, gather lambs into His arms, carry them in His bosom. Such a tender picture of care. He will gently lead. A perfect blend of omnipotence, no limit of power, and tender care for those in need. Gentleness.
We see this pictured in Psalm 23 as well. I mean just listen to the language used here. Read Psalm 23. We are so undeserving. We are sinners. We are lost. We deserve God’s judgment. But because of Christ, green pastures, still waters, soul restored, leading in righteousness, no fear, God’s presence, comfort, anointing, overflowing blessings, goodness, mercy, dwelling with the Lord. There is a tenderness, a gentleness with which God deals with His sheep.
This is how Jesus is described by the way. Turn over to Matthew 11. This is one of the only places, if not the only place that we see Jesus self-describe His character. He talks a lot about who He is functionally, the “Bread of Life”, the “Light of the World”, the “Good Shepherd”, the Son of God, but we don’t see Him mention His own character, except here in Matthew 11. Read Matthew 11:28-30.
Gentle and Lowly of Heart
What a beautiful promise we have here. When we are weak, when we are burdened, when we are broken, God does not deal with us harshly. God does not tell us to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps and keep moving. God promises us that He will deal with us gently. This is who He is! “Come to me,” he says, “come to me and give me your burdens, unload them onto me, I will take them from you and I will care for you. Come and rest in my presence. Let me hold you and comfort you and restore your soul.”
For Jesus to focus on these characteristics as the sole self-described characteristics in Scripture has to tell us something about Him! Sure, one day He will come back with a vengeance, on a white horse bringing final destruction and victory over this world. But right now, Jesus deals with us in gentleness.
Does this mean that Jesus can’t be passionate and intense at times? Of course not. We saw that in His interaction with the religious leaders, with His rebuke of Peter, with His actions in the temple when He flipped the tables. Gentleness is not the absence of harsh words and blunt language. And listen, when talking about gentleness, it’s not just a tender care for people who are broken, or weak. It’s for people who sin, who mess up. When we do, as believers, God does not reign down judgment upon our heads. He has every right to, but because of what Jesus did, He withholds the strength of judgment, and instead deals with us gently.
Again, different ways to think about gentleness. Gentleness in terms of tender care for those who are hurting and broken. Gentleness in terms of tempering strength in moments where it is warranted, and instead dealing with that person in a calm and gentle way.
I mean is this not the picture of parenting that we are juggling every day? Our kids mess up, maybe in the same way they always do, and we’ve told them so many times how wrong it is, and now we are at our wits end, and that feeling of anger is just welling up inside us. And it’s like right here, in our throat. You know what I’m talking about? But this is us and Jesus. We mess up, over and over again, but yet He deals with us in gentleness. And again, this week as I’m studying I’m just feeling so convicted. Asking myself the question, “have I been gentle in my response to my children?”
Now listen. This doesn’t imply weak parenting. This doesn’t mean that consequences don’t come, that punishment is thrown out the window. Discipline is necessary and helpful, but our response in the moment can set the tone for how that conversation will go. When we can approach our children in a calm and gentle way, it gives them a picture of the gospel, of how Jesus deals with us. Again, preaching to myself here.
You remember Moses? Moses, God used with great power to reign down plagues on Egypt? The man God used to lead Israel to their freedom? Those same Israelites complained and grumbled seemingly at every turn. Even his brother, Aaron led the people to create a golden calf to worship. Their sister Miriam even stepped in to oppose Moses at one point. Turn over to Numbers 12. Read Numbers 12:1-9. Moses had every right to be upset. The Lord was upset! But in the midst of this passage, when Moses’ brother and sister were opposing him and wrongly calling him out, look again at what it says:
“Now the man Moses was very meek, more than all people on the face of the Earth.”
Moses had a unique relationship with God, one with authority unmatched by anyone. But yet he was able to control that strength, even when he had the right to exercise it on those who wronged him. He was meek. Gentle. He wasn’t weak though. When he came down off of the mountain and found the Israelites worshiping the golden calf, he divided the camp and had 3,000 people killed who worshiped the calf. He had great strength, but was able to temper that strength when necessary. Gentleness.
Gentleness in Us
So what about us? Through the empowering of the Holy Spirit, we have the ability to exhibit this kind of gentleness. And there are many reasons why we are called to live this way. I want to walk through a few different passages that show us the power of gentleness.
Proverbs 15:1 - “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” In the midst of a heated conversation, when words can be said that might do lasting damage, it would appear that a gentle response deters wrath and calms the situation down. On the other hand, if we respond in anger, in a harsh way, it will most surely stir up anger in the other person. You all know what I’m talking about? We’ve experienced this before. Pride gets in the way and we don’t want to hear what the other person has to say. Anger rises, words are said. Scripture tells us that one of the ways that we can remedy a bad conversation is to react with gentleness, to withhold our anger.
Galatians 6:1 - “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” These are the difficult conversations that we don’t like to have. When someone is caught in their sin, when their sin is exposed, especially if it is us who has been wronged, it’s easy to condemn, it’s easy to come down on that person. And while healthy correction is needed, and commanded of us, the spirit with which we engage that person is one of gentleness. Our words are covered in love. Our demeanor is not threatening. Our tone is balanced. Our speech is true. Handling our fallen brother or sister with tenderness.
1 Peter 3:15 - “but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect…” Peter turns our attention to our gospel witness. Honor the Lord and always be prepared to talk about Jesus. Live in light of the hope that you have, and when people ask you why, you answer them with gentleness and respect. Imagine how much different a view the world would have of Christians if we approached it this way. The unbeliever’s eyes have not been opened to the truth. They are as wandering sheep without a Shepherd. The same care with which God deals with us is how we approach others. Yes, there are times to be more forceful with the truth that would hold dear, but gentleness and respect will allow our gospel efforts to thrive.
James 3:13 - “Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom.” James continues in verse 17, “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” Wisdom is defined by gentleness, among other things. By our good conduct, in humility, we live in the wisdom of God when we are gentle. In other words, it is wise to be gentle. On the flipside of that, then, it is foolish to not be gentle, to be angry.
Proverbs 15:4 - “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” We are called to speak life into one another, to encourage one another, to restore one another. The way in which we do that is in gentleness! On the other hand, if we speak destruction, if we speak perverse words, words of mockery, it breaks the spirit. It tears people down. We are called to come alongside one another and restore one another!
Jesus tells us in His sermon on the mount that the meek will inherit the earth. I mean this idea of gentleness is so important.
