1st Corinthians 7:1-16

We see a shift this morning from Paul. Whereas he was addressing issues that had been reported to him from Chloe and her people, now he begins addressing issues brought up in a separate letter. Here’s where we need to be careful. Paul’s response here is to specific questions and concerns from the church in Corinth. Because we can’t be certain what those questions were, we need to be careful how we approach this text. What Paul includes is not an exhaustive theology on marriage and singleness, but is counsel that he is giving them in response to their letter. 

Big Idea: Marriage and singleness are both beautiful gifts from God.

Read 1st Corinthians 7:1-5

Now, before we get into the principles that Paul lays out, we need to address this statement. It’s believed that this was included in the letter written to Paul, and so brings it up in order to answer it. It is “good” or “profitable” for a man, better translation, not to “touch” a woman. In ancient times this would have been understood to mean having sexual relations with someone. The argument that some in the Corinthian church had adopted was that in order to be more spiritual, to be on higher moral ground, was to be celibate, or in complete abstinence from anything sexual. This ideology is called asceticism, and it had begun to creep into their midst. The danger of this thinking, however, was that it completely missed the gift that sex was in the context of marriage. 

Marriage (1-5)

So what Paul does here in the first few verses is he lays out a right thinking in terms of sexual intimacy in marriage. Alright teenagers, this is like week 3 of addressing the “s” word, but I promise this is the last time we’ll talk about it in 1st Corinthians. 

Intimacy in Marriage is a Defense Against Sexual Temptation (2)

It’s an interesting addition to the purpose of the gift of sex in marriage. In Genesis 1 and 2 we see that it is for procreation and partnership. Song of Solomon teaches that it is meant to be enjoyed. And here Paul mentions it as a way to remain pure. If you are one who struggles with sexual temptation, then marriage might be the best option for you. It doesn’t solve it completely, but it does allow for sexual intimacy in the way that God intended. Getting married does not take away the natural impulses, and this is what Paul addresses in verse 3-5. 

By the way, what Paul is saying here is totally counter-cultural. The culture in which Paul was writing this letter placed great favor on the husband’s rights and desires above the wifes, without fail. What Paul is saying is that the husband needs to respect and honor the desires of his wife, in the same way the wife has been culturally obligated to. He builds on this in verse 4. 

Our Body Belongs to Our Spouse (3-4)

Our bodies do not belong to us. Paul just told us in chapter 6 that our bodies belong to the Lord. And now in the context of marriage we see that we forfeit our ownership when we say “I do.” If you’re single and that makes you shiver a bit, Paul actually addresses that next. Now, what this doesn’t mean is that we get to make demands of our spouse. It doesn’t mean we can use these verses as ammunition. What it does mean is that we think like Jesus and sacrifice our own wants and desires for the sake of someone else. If we truly desire to be like Christ, then we will desire to serve our spouse, in all areas of life, including sexual intimacy. 

Remember now, this is in the context of sexual immorality, which is why we see a warning in verse 5. Sexual intimacy in the context of marriage is a gift. It provides protection against sexual immorality. Therefore, says Paul, “do not deprive one another.” It’s easy to walk this out logically. If you struggle with sexual immorality, marriage provides a way to fulfill those desires. If those needs are not met, then very easily sexual temptation can creep in. Therefore, do not deprive one another. I mean he says it right there! Don’t deprive each other, because when you do, Satan can very easily get a foothold in your life. To put it bluntly, sex in the context of marriage protects against temptation towards sexual immorality. 

With one caveat though. If you agree to abstain for a short time for the purpose of prayer, that’s fine, but Paul makes it clear that it’s for a limited time, and there should be an end date to the time “apart.”

Now, there may be nuanced situations in marriage that make this incredibly difficult. There may be a variety of unhealthy situations, like abuse or past trauma, or a number of other things. So while I do think these principles are good and right in a healthy marriage, I recognize that there are situations that make this difficult. 

After Paul talks about marriage, he moves on to another topic, and that’s singleness.

Read 1st Corinthians 7:6-9

Singleness is a Gift (6-9)

We aren’t going to address this at length this morning, because Paul does give more detail at the end of chapter 7. What he does provide here, as one commentator said, is “his Spirit-led opinion.” And his belief is that it’s a gift to be single. It’s a gift into which many are called. It’s not any less than God’s best. Why? Why does Paul wish this upon so many? Think about it for him. Paul traveled over 10,000 miles as a missionary, planting and strengthening churches along the way. Paul was imprisoned multiple times. He spent his Christian life traveling. You know how difficult that would have been had he been married? 

We have to look at this in the context of what Paul is addressing. The implication here would be, if you don’t struggle with sexual temptation, and are able to live in celibacy, then hold onto your independence. As Danny Akin says, “you are free to serve Christ with no strings attached.” This is something that each person needs to determine though. Not everyone is gifted for marriage. Not everyone is gifted for singleness. Listen, marriage is beautiful but it comes with a lot of difficulties. Independence doesn’t mean what it did before marriage. Instead of dealing with your own brokenness, now you are dealing with yours and someone else's. Jack Arnold in his commentary offers a helpful thought, “A person who has the gift of celibacy might have a fierce independent spirit and would not fare well in a marriage where dependency is essential.” 

But then Paul, in verse 9, brings their minds back to the previous portion, if you don’t have enough self-control, it would be better to be married then burn with passion with no way to fulfill those desires.

Read 1st Corinthians 7:10-11

Separation & Divorce (10-11)

Paul now clarifies that this next part is straight from the Lord. This isn’t a preference from Paul. This is instruction from the Lord. Something that many may not realize, is that divorce at that time was even more common than it is today. One historian said that it was not uncommon for people to be divorced and remarried several times over. Up to this point in Scripture, we have only seen one situation in which God permits divorce, and that’s infidelity. We’ll see in verse 15 that Paul seems to infer that abandonment by an unbelieving spouse might allow for divorce as well, but we’ll get to that in just a moment. 

What Paul says here in these verses, is that sometimes in marriage, a brief period of separation might be necessary and helpful, but ALWAYS with the goal of reconciliation. According to Scripture, there are only 2 options: reconciliation, or remaining separated. And this is where it can get really difficult. What about situations of abuse, in which a spouse and/or the children are in danger? Absolutely the ones in danger need to get out of that situation. But there is much debate over whether or not the abused has biblical grounds for divorce, or if they remain separated indefinitely. This is a conversation into whose depths we don’t time to explore this morning, but Paul makes it clear in our passage this morning that in most situations, divorce is not an option. But again, this isn’t meant to be a complete theology on marriage and divorce, but is instead addressing specific questions from the Corinthian church.

Read 1st Corinthians 7:12-16

Unbelieving Spouse (12-16)

I feel like I’ve said a lot today about a lot of things, so let’s simplify this section a little bit. 

A. An unbelieving spouse is not grounds for divorce

Think about the context into which Paul was writing. Christianity was a brand new thing. People were getting saved in great numbers, and many times it would be a husband or wife that would then bring the gospel back into their home. If that’s the case, says Paul, don’t give up hope! Why? 

B. A believing spouse exposes their family to the gospel

Paul doesn’t mean to say that the unbelievers are somehow spiritually sanctified because of a believing family member, that’s not how the gospel works. But what he is saying is that the moment that person walks through the door, their family has been exposed to holiness. Think about the inverse. Without a believer in the house, the primary and only influence is the world. This is true of spouses, as well as of children. If you are a believer and your spouse or kids are not, don’t give up! Continue to live out the gospel in front of them. Continue to love them well. Continue to pray that the Spirit uses your influence to draw them to the Lord. 

Sometimes though, things don’t go that way. Sometimes, as Paul addresses, the unbelieving spouse may leave altogether. If that happens, Paul says, then the believing spouse is not “enslaved.” In other words, they are not bound to the marriage any longer.

C. Abandonment by an unbelieving spouse may be grounds for divorce

When we dig down into the Greek word usage here, we find that a better translation for “enslaved” is “under bondage.” This isn’t Paul saying that marriage is like being in bondage, not at all. But what he is saying is that when we enter into a marriage covenant with someone else, I mean we’ve talked about this, we don’t belong to ourselves anymore. We are tied, tethered to another person. And in Scripture, we now see 3 different situations where divorce is permitted: death (Romans 7:2), adultery (Matthew 19:9), and now an unbelieving spouse abandoning the marriage. 

Alright this is a lot to take in on a Sunday morning. I recognize that, so let’s just summarize what Paul addresses here: 

1. Intimacy in marriage is a gift, and helps to avoid temptation towards sexual immorality. 

2. Singleness is a gift from God, allowing for unique opportunities in kingdom work.

3. Separation is permitted if necessary, but always has the goal of reconciliation.

4. An unbelieving spouse is not grounds for divorce, but instead provides a unique opportunity of exposure to the gospel.